Wednesday, August 21, 2013

I Miss my Mom

**I started typing this post over a month ago. Found it today in my drafts.

TTZ threw a wonderful party for our friends and their kids. It might not have had the most Martha-esque touches, or something Garden and Gun would consider covering; but all my friends had a wonderful time and that means so much to me. I don't throw parties or take pictures to show off or for some sick gratification.. I do it because I love my friends so much and I do love to entertain and I feel like we are all in this parenting thing together. Nothing makes me feel better than sharing stories of crazy two year olds, confiding in a friend that I don't cook, or planning future get togethers whether its on a river fly-fishing or in eachother's backyard. 
 I came home after the pool and started watching the Help. When Skeeter's mom comes out and tells Hilly she has been eating too much pie I just lost it. Usually I'm cracking up at this part but today I just started sobbing. I miss my mom. She is still my mom and will always be but Alzheimer's has taken the mom I know away from me.

She taught me how to entertain. She taught me everything about flowers. She taught me that under-eye concealer is required and that baby powder can work in-between shampoos. She didn't teach me how to cook but taught me everything else required of a dinner party. 
One of the most important things she did teach me was when I was dealing with something I couldn't handle to just "Give it to God". Being an OCD worrier this phrase sometimes falls upon deaf ears. It is a hard concept to do but she was right. Sometimes you just have to give it to God. 

I am giving God a bucketload this week. .

I will be posting about Alzheimer's once a week until our big walk here in Charlotte on September 28th. You can donate to our team or to me directly here.

Love you all,

Found on Pinterest
Letter from a Mother to a Daughter:
“My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”…
Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep. When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl? When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way… remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day…
The day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don’t feel sad… just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you… my darling daughter.”

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