Limits

I am typing this post in tears. I know there are people out there in the world going through so much more than my small petty problems, but they are my problems and they are large to me.

I have been to 3 Doctors in 3 days. The first my OBGYN to measure my hormone levels to make sure I ovulated. I'm not sure clomid does this for everyone but I got very sick over last weekend while in Orlando and this past Monday was doubled over in pelvic pain while in Asheville. I asked her to screen my urine b/c I felt a UTI coming on and while it didn't show signs of a UTI there was blood present so it got sent off for a culture.

The next was my regular doctor. She is by far the most amazing person in the world. She lost her mother to Alzheimer's last year and is one of the very few people that can look me in the eyes and say it is a shitty situation and it won't get better. She loves me for being a total spastic crazy person and even though I rattle off a list that would signal that I am a hypochondriac she knows my chart and knows that I am not. I had almost 10 tubes of blood taken. The hairloss and joint pain is real and now I have some crazy issue with my knee. I screamed and fell over when we got home today and again last night. I'm not happy.

The third was my son's pediatrician. Of course the week that we are both playing catchup with work he gets a fevero (104, he doesn't fuck around) and I took him this morning as a precaution. The Dr. ordered a pee sample and although I knew this was totally unnecessary maybe he is just being cautious. I will spare you from the drama but I was there 2 hours, came home with the damn bag stuck to my son's penis and then had to go back to drop the pee off. 

Me in 2012. UTI > Kidney Infection > Sepsis >Atrial Fibrillation 

I'm just tired. I'm over going to Dr's and waiting for results. Mainly b/c I had a UTI that became a Kidney Infection and then Sepsis and I almost died. I'm not kidding. I know I'm not the healthiest person in the world but damn, i'm only 33 (for two more weeks) and this is ridiculous.

There are a bunch of articles out there saying "Stop being busy", "Being busy is not productive", "Stop the Glorification of being busy". But listen fuckers. I AM busy. Most of the people I know are busy. I am a working mom. I clock at a minimum 50 hours a week. My son is not the type to entertain himself. I try to go to Asheville and help whenever I can with my mother. I have a stepson that we either have come visit here or go see him every month. I am trying to help the Alzheimer's Association get 100 volunteers for the Queen's Cup Steeplechase. I have a blog as a hobby that I constantly neglect and my true passion, photography, goes to the wayside as I have no time for classes or Photoshop tutorials. So leave us busy people alone. We are legitimately busy. I don't brag about it, it is a fact. And yes..I am aware what two kids instead of one will do to my busyness, but that is FINE with me! Piss off. And I will admit it when I am free. Like next weekend, I have an event Thursday and a consignment sale Friday but I'm FREE Saturday and Sunday. You hear that? FREE!

So that is me today. Sorry for the page-full. I really wish I was inebriated in New Orleans catching beads and eating King Cake.

xo

Pity Party K

PS-Yes, I need to have more faith. And I want want want to go to Church more. But my son HATES the nursery there and that just adds stress to that whole situation.