Tuesday, July 1, 2014

If You Can't Say Anything Nice....

Do you ever see a picture on Instagram or a blog or something on Pinterest and wish you could REALLY say what you were thinking?

Yeah I'm going to start doing that. I will try not to hurt feelings but in the mood I'm in today that might be hard.*

These people must not have kids. Just sayin.

 How I feel if I have to leave the house. Avert your eyes if you see me at Harris Teeter.

 Somebody pinned this from Bethenny Frankel's daughter's new room. Fuck Bethenny Frankel. I watched her show my first maternity leave and now I just want to waterboard her with milkshakes. OHHH a pink girl's room. Let's put it in a catalog STAT! My friend Sarah Fisher should be published WAY ahead of some of these Bozos. Hint: If your ceilings are that tall get a taller headboard you TV trash!

 This is fine. But what is with the creepy wolf/dog in the background. Wait for it...you'll see it.

 Really? That shit is going to tip over in a hot second. Buy a fucking table. Some DIY projects make me want to send them a check to go to freaking Ikea.

 Parents Magazine I have already yelled at you on twitter. Stop it. Stop making us fear for our lives regarding EVERYTHING. The BOX will kill your child!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Need. Wow. Girl clothes. Yikes.

 I blame Parents magazine (again) but I see this and see head trauma. Or accidental hanging. And no way in hell would I make up those beds.

 Just stop. What the shit is this?

 Really? For a little girl's room? Um NO. WWMPS? (What would Mary Poppins Say?) That little girl's gonna be a panty dropper.

 This. Yes.

 Apparently I need to make this. Pinterest is the devil to overly emotional pregnant women. I honestly don't know what is wrong with me this time but I'm a mess. Not even a hot mess. And I want cake. 

I'm sorry.....this is adorable? She looks like she just got washed up from a shipwreck. Pirate Hooker clothes for your little girl!

Which immediately makes me think...

 Make sure you get your Watermark on that awesome photo. 

*Ah, I feel better. No weekend review because:
1. The lady giving me a pedicure said I had lots of swelling in my ankles. Thanks for pointing that out!
2. People are already asking if I'm near my due date.
3. I'm in psycho packing mode.
4. I HATE my options to pack for the Beach this year. I'm eating the same or actually even healthier than I did for my son and I'm puffy everywhere. I haven't had a SINGLE ZEBRA CAKE!
Screw you summer pregnancy. Screw you.



  1. Girl, if you and I were to sit on a bench in a general public vicinity with these matching pregnancy hormones it would NEED to be filmed.
    My daily aggression used to be sufficed by mentally making mean comments on everyone's facebook posts. Now I have to fight the urge to not say the shit I'm thinking out load for fear of being locked up. Ahh pregnancy. Oh and I feel you on the summer baby. My SIL gets married in 2 weekends, outdoors, I,ll be 37 weeks and eeked out not being a bridesmaid because my husband said no way, he wouldn't let me subject myself (or him) to that. The idea of being in a fancy dress, swollen beyond recondition, outside in mid-July, for some forever family photos is enough to make me want to blow my brain out. :) thanks for understanding

  2. haha! OMG I think you and me could be best friends! bahaha I literally died while reading this post. I'm not even pregnant anymore and Pinterest still pisses me off.

    PS. My daughters room is pink:(

  3. EAT an effing Zebra Cake."waterboard her with milkshakes" might be my favorite line ever.

  4. Hilarious! I feel the same way and I'm not even pregnant with crazy hormones!

  5. What a great start to my day! Thank you for sharing!

  6. Dying. I love everything about this post. Namely the thighs becoming twice their size because at 2 months post baby I think mine might be triple!