Friday, April 6, 2018

Top 10 Things Take Them A Meal Should Also Deliver

**Top 10 Things Take Them A Meal should also deliver:
(Huge thank you to my friends that set up and signed up for this. Max is working late to make up for days off and I don't cook.) Here's the link Dad!

1. A Babysitter
I love my kids and these extra moments I'm getting to spend with them because I am no longer back and forth to Asheville is amazing. But Amelie is also a three year old that yells at me if she doesn't get to open the car door (which she cannot open).

2. Ritalin
Listen, Mom used to give me a few extra here and there because I fall asleep driving. Yep, I'm not a narcoleptic but I must just relax so much in the car I totally zone out. Monster, windows down, Girl Talk playlist can't keep me awake. And the last time I was able to indulge in the lovely "mother's little helper" I finally put all the laundry away. That was 2016. 

3. Wine
I'm out of my "allowed to drink Monday-Friday under $10" stash that Max has ruled the only thing I can drink during the week. Where are these drones that deliver things and why aren't they dropping wine off yet? (Huge thanks to WineStore for sending me two bottles of Lafage for Easter!)

4. A full size bathtub
(Like my sister in law's)
Our Master bathroom is the size of that unnamed gas station with a gravel parking lot somewhere near Bethune on the way to Pawleys via backroads. I would love to take a bath in a tub that doesn't have moldy ducks or rode hard and put up wet barbies.

5. Personal Trainer
Because Margaret Tomlinson's ice cream is redonk and Max still hasn't bought me a Peleton. And we still haven't built that addition or purchased the new hose for said Peleton.

6. Personal Stylist
I really should stop wearing workout clothes and glasses and maybe take a shower

7. Hugs
Thank you MT for those big time hugs last night. I need more hugs. Do you hear that Max? 

8. Doctor
I've been sick since I came home from Asheville. First what I thought was the stomach bug and now a "cold" that turned into a sinus infection. I'm not good at leaving the house AKA safe little happy messy nest so I wish we had a person like I do for my kids that will show up and magically diagnose something that meds can fix. Finally found that e-visit option and I'm on the good stuff. (Alas, not ritalin).

9. Valium
Thanks to an unnamed family member I also was gifted maybe one or two valium for the week to end all week's. I was mid meltdown over her slideshow and one of these fabulous pills slipped their way down my throat. What slideshow? I also accredit this magic medicine to how I was able to speak at Mom's service. 90 day supply please.

10. Love
It's mainly my fault but I miss seeing people. I HATE HATE HATE the phone. I just can't do it. I wish I could teleport friends from all over into my office and just chat. I'm still in awe at how many of you came to Asheville and I will be eternally grateful for that forever. Starting thank you notes stat.

**If you found this post tacky as hell it was hopefully meant to make you laugh. And to make me laugh. It's a hard job to be the funniest person in your household WHILE grieving.


  1. i concur with all that you you lots.

  2. i concur with everything you said....much love.

  3. I'm pretty sure I know which bathroom you speak of *cracking up*