1. We listened to horrible commentary from Kelly Osbourne and whoever that guy was standing with her for an hour. You think that when someone finally gets their 5 seconds at the microphone you could HOLD OFF ON THE FREAKING MUSIC. If you are really that short of time cut the beginning segment or put the girls on one of those Airport Walkway systems. I love to hear what these people say. Maybe not so much at the Oscars but they are tipsy at this party and if I had to listen to "who is your dress" for an hour couldn't you at least have the decency to let those guys who made the documentary "Carlos" have their say? RUDE RUDE RUDE. I mean you cut off Steve Buscemi? Notice they did NOT cut off Annette Bening. Beatty would have gone all Bonnie & Clyde on them if they had.
2. Elisabeth Moss looks like Jodi Foster.
3. Halle Berry. Wow. Didn't love the dress but who cares about the f*cking dress when you are Halle Berry right?
4. Best line of the Evening "If I could, I'd give it to all five of you" - Robert Downey Jr. RDJ is a good time. I've emailed his publicist to try to get him over for one of our dinner parties.
5. Jane Krakowski is tan. And adorably pregnant. But tan. Is that okay? Because if so I'm going to get sprayed or lay in a bed. You think that makes me vain but I'm broken out, huge, and almost purple. A little sun would make me feel light years better!
6. Favorite Couple Award - Hamn & Westfeldt
7. Least favorite couple Award - J.Lo and Skeletor. I try, but I just don't like J.Lo.
8. Best Dressed and Hottest Award- Mila Kunis
9. Cannot believe it was not nominated - 24
10. Aaron Sorkin nailed it in his speech to his daughter "Smart Girls have all the fun". Stay in school! Don't get pregnant before marriage (Unless you are RII$$CH like Natalie Portman) And Natalie. The dress. I love you, love the dress...LOSE THE FLOWER! With the flower it looks like a Disney Princess Dress. But you are still cute and pregnant so I love you. Call me if you need Zebra Cakes, I have a stash.