Thursday, January 20, 2011

Worried

I should order a truck of Guatemalan Worry Dolls


Do you wish you could make yourself stop worrying? I worry all the time. About really stupid stuff. And I know that worrying is "like a rocking chair", it gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere. And I'm very aware that worrying about something doesn't make it better or go away..but I still do it. My usual remedy? Bourbon.....I worry much less when I have a bourbon.

So just to get it out on paper to make myself feel better here are a few of my current worries:

1. That work will not want me back after Maternity leave. (AKA Short Term Disability for 6 weeks)
2. That I won't be able to Breastfeed
3. That this adorable little Baby is going to outwit me
4. That this baby is going to have a birth defect
5. That we won't get the creaky floors upstairs fixed in time
6. That I have gained too much weight
7. About finding babysitters for the 6 weddings this year. (I'm soo excited for Weddings. Our 2010 = 0 Weddings) Oh yes..I timed being preggo right! Payback is hell honey!!!!
8. That M will be driving back from a visitation weekend and I will go into labor and have the baby before he gets home.
9. Worried if I picked the right child care.
10. Worried you all will find this post lame

Is this all ridiculous?? Yes! But just to put it in writing and vent about it is like a free shrink visit. Thanks Dr. Followers! And yes, I'm aware it only gets worse as a parent. But for right now tell me something else, like stop worrying and eat a cupcake. (Except I'll do it tomorrow after the glucose test)

PS-I did spell check and one of my "worrying" wanted to be "whoring". LOVE IT.

xoxoxox

13 comments:

anita @ a dreamer's den said...

Stop worrying and have a cupcake.
No, really, I have to fight "the worries" every day, but I think it gets easier the older you get.
One thing that's helped me is to bring your mind right back to the present moment: are you OK right now? Do you have everything you need right now?
Also, try to flip the worry -- imagine the opposite of the worry: imagine your husband being there for the birth, etc.
And then say this: I am enough, I have enough, I do enough.

Then eat a cupcake!

Hang in there. You're doing great!

anita @ a dreamer's den said...

oh -- ps. I posted today on some cute maternity clothes -- my sister is pregnant too!!

Natalie said...

I worry all the time too. I think its a female gene that men don't get. I had a similar list of worries as you pre-baby, but I actually got laid off right before I had him (not to scare you but actually it has worked out fine). Once you have that sweet baby you won't remember your life before, in a good way! Sit back and relax my dear and try not to worry. Easier said than done. For some reason I always write a novel on your posts (sorry for the ramblings)!

Pawleys Island Posh said...

#2-BabyGirl and I had awesome technique according to my lactation consultants but my milk never came in so I couldn't breastfeed. I tried diligently for two weeks to increase my supply and finally had to switch entirely to formula. If this happens, which apparently is super rare, just remember: You live in a world with clean water and healthy formula. Your baby will grow and love you either way. Trust me the look in her eyes when I snuggle her to bottle feed is just as sweet as when I breast fed.

#4 technically my baby had a birth defect that we didn't learn about until birth. She's wonderful and perfect and thank god it was fixable. I used to worry about that too and I swear you won't even care bit once he's born

#8 I was scheduled for a c-section on a wednesday morning and on Monday night I sent my husband to our friend's house 1.5 away to get the video camera. Of course, I went in to labor while he was gone. The baby was breech so I had to have an emergency c-section. My best friend had to drive me to the hospital and my husband made it with 5 minutes to spare. Literally. These mishaps make for a much more entertaining birth story

10. Anyone who thinks this post is lame doesn't have kids

Pawleys Island Posh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pawleys Island Posh said...

PS-I only wrote all that to make Natalie feel better about her long comment :)

Alicia xoxxo said...

I am 4 months preggo and your list of worries is almost identical to what I am currently worried about! I think worrying is natural esp when major life changes are taking place. I just wish I could worry less. Good to know that I am not alone!

Sarah said...

Yes, I lie awake worrying every night. My husband tells me to visualize my "worries" all getting on a bus and driving away. That doesn't help. Thinking about that bus getting nailed by a train helps though. haha.

But your company is the LAST company to ever fire someone for pg stuff. No way in hell!

Ling said...

Your worries are totally normal. I had lots of similar worries while pregnant. And I would say that there is such a conspiracy of silence about how hard it is to breastfeed and how hard motherhood in general can be. We are all just muddling along doing the best we can, so people need to keep their judgments to themselves. My son is four months old. I'm waiting to find out whether the university I lecture at will take me back this fall...

Megan said...

I'm reading a book right now about the power of writing and the cathartic nature of the simple act of getting things down on paper {or perhaps the act of typing them out in today's digital world is the equivalent}. Although I don't have kids, I'm all too familiar with a nagging list of worries. Hope that having this avenue to share is helpful! Part of the reason I love your blog is b/c of your honestly and true voice. I'm so glad to have met you to know that you're the exact same sweet person in real life!!
PS- I left you a little shout out on my blog today!

Erin {HuddyP} said...

You are not crazy, I have basically the same worries. I'm 31 weeks preg and this is my second so you'd think I'd be over the worrying by now. Nope. Unfortunately it doesn't really end b/c once they're here you worry about them getting sick, hurt, eating enough, warm enough. But I can promise you that it is all worth it and you will wonder how it is possible to love something so much...and then you understand why you worry all the time :) (of course it's MUCH easier when they're in your arms instead of in your belly b/c you can consume cocktails to take the worrying edge off!)

tiffabbey said...

"This too shall pass"

My mom always says this to me whenever I am worried about something.
When you start to worry, think about where you are and what you've accomplished...I know that when I do that I realize tht nothing I've done has been accident, it's all had a higher power guiding it...(my God)...and I know that higher power has helped me through everything.

"God will never give you something you can't handle"...

My mom always says this also...you are a strong person...but you will never be given anything you cannot handle. Things may be tough..but you can survive.

I've had all of those worries before, with both of my girls...and they shift into different worries as they grow and you grow.

Worrying to breastfeed turns into; worrying they are eating the right amount of vegetables and if you've let them eat too much junk food this week.

You'll be ok...you will all be ok.

It does feel good to get it out though...good for you...so NOT a lame post!

Haven and Home said...

Do stop worrying and do have a cupcake!!!! I am a worrier too so I know how you feel. Even today I feel like something is bothering me and I can't quite put my finger on it! I hope you are feeling peaceful today!