Friday, June 3, 2011

Wedding Attire AKA Spanx Wanted

I haven't been to a wedding since 2009 and we have 6 this year! Needless to say, having all these fabulous parties to attend is a little bittersweet. I'm so excited to get dressed up and consume free liquor and dance the night away while watching beautiful brides experience the happiest day of their lives...but I wish I was 20 pounds thinner....

My post baby wardrobe is minimal to say the least. All my cute summer dresses just hang silently in my closet hoping that my fat ass will get my rear in shape and hopefully slip them on again before they are banished to the attic for Winter.

Here are a few beauties I would love to wear (If I hadn't eaten those 500 Zebra Cakes while pregnant) next weekend to our first stop on the Wedding circuit...

Elle Tahari-Not jaw dropping but pretty and simple

Kay Unger-Pockets!

Milly-Would need a tan for this one

Milly-Not my color but love the dress!

Halston...would hide the arms and huge milk factory tatas

Shoshanna-Love this

Instead I will be wearing a Nicole Miller version of this (not as swirly). Not hot...but camouflage for fatty Mc.Fatterson

oh...and this

Spanx I-just-had-a-baby-and-am-not-Bethenny-Frankel-suit

And totally unrelated..
How cute is this bag? Ridiculously overpriced for what it is but cute regardless-Trina Turk


  1. OOH, my favorite is the Kay Unger--GORGEOUS! And don't you worry about those post-baby pounds, I'm 22, have never had a baby and own a pair of Spanx, ha!

  2. I am dying laughing! I had to be in my sisters wedding 10 weeks after Sterling was born and I cringe looking at the pictures. My arms and tummy were fat and I just look tired. But I did have a good time boozing it without a baby so enjoy yourself! Love the Shoshanna dress.

  3. Do. Not. Even. Girl, you just had a baby. I promise it will all bounce back - and I'm sure you look great now. Don't talk to yourself that way! And all of those dresses are adorable ...