Monday, June 3, 2013

MMHP-Monday Morning Hodge Podge

Peter King writes a fanstastic Monday Column called "Monday Morning Quarterback" of all his rants and raves over the past weekend's football play. The term MMQB is defined as American football: A person who criticizes or passes judgment with the benefit of hindsight. Monday morning refers to the games played or broadcast on weekends, with criticisms leveled by commentators the following week
My MMHP will be somewhat of the rants and raves from over the past weekend/week but I'll just add Hodge Podge since it will be of one zillion different topics.
**Today's post will sound like I'm an angry beaver but really I'm just all jacked up on Mountain Dew. (kidding)

Seriously, with DVR you really need to abide by the 48 hour rule. Give someone 48 hours to watch the show before you fucking ruin it for them. That goes for Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/Ecards...etc! (And no, I don't know who died. Hopefully it was the crazy sister or a bunch of crows.)

2. I get massive anxiety when the person in line in front of me takes too long.
This could be anywhere but let's say I'm at Target and the freak in front of me in line wants to do a triple price check and everything they bought is missing the price tag. Or most recently at Chick Fil A when she asked if she could read the back of all the salad dressings. Move the fuck on people!

3. Cash-register offers
Please for the love of God leave us alone when we are waving our check card in your face and trying to pay. NO my mom doesn't want to open a credit card. NO we don't want to give you our email address, NO we don't want to donate. We JUST want to FUCKING pay!

4. Speaking of cash registers..
Why are there so many questions? Debit or Credit? Is the amount okay? Cash back? Is the amount still okay? What are you doing tonight? Are you sure the total is okay? Can we get your email address? NO! I DON'T WANT TO TYPE IN MY REALLY LONG E MAIL ADDRESS WITH YOUR GROSS STYLUS.

**By the way, this is very therapeutic. I already feel better**

5. Kid Germs
Ford must have had a stomach bug b/c I have it now. Guess I should stop smooching him so much. Glad he let us go to the pool for a 2 hour poo-free window.

6. Clean Laundry
Why doesn't that shit put itself away

and last but not least...
7. Mr. Bubble Foam Soap
This stuff rocks. No, it isn't organic or made of kale products but the little guy loves it. And anytime he is not hitting me or yelling No is a WIN.


1 comment:

  1. I feel so much better just reading this. Ok, people that take too long in line serverely stresses me. Please check the price before and know what your kids want to eat before you get in line to order. One a lady in front of me at Old Navy was trying to return shirts with no tags- who does thta?? Why waste my time. And the questions when you check out so fucking annoying, I get asked if I want a Target debit card everytime I go and even when I say no they still have to give me the details. No means no.