Wednesday, November 8, 2017

A Wedding, a Brunch, a Birthday and Hospice


I have sat at my computer for hours trying to figure out how to type this update. I just had the most incredible and complicated weekend in Asheville. Some major lows, some absolutely beautiful highs, and a lot of stuff in between.

What started off with a routine visit with Mom to change out some of her closet and to meet her dedicated PA turned into a pretty serious conversation that neither my father or myself was expecting. It is one of those realities of this disease where you know what is coming next but you just don't know how it will feel until you get there.

Hospice.

I could tell Dad was choking back tears just as I was and we listened intently as her PA explained the next steps to us. 

We walked down the hallway and out of her facility and cried. Like we have done so many times before.

Hospice feels like defeat. It feels like that point in a flight where they say, "Please fasten your seat belts as we prepare for our final decent". Will their be turbulence? How long will it take us to land? Can they keep serving drinks?

I have been blogging about my mother's Alzheimer's for a long time. She was diagnosed in the fall of 2011. Each stage I have thought was the hardest and then I am surprised and shocked by the heartache of the next. 

I don't know much else. We will likely try to thicken her fluids but she might hate it. And at that point our plan is to not prolong what her body and mind are trying to do.

I hear hospice is amazing and I am looking forward to some sort of comfort from that. I hate not knowing timing and I'm not sure they can tell me anything more than we already know but hopefully they can keep some sort of barometer on the situation so I will know if I need to head home. 


7 comments:

MFAMB said...

hugs.

Bevin said...

I want you to know that you and your family are being prayed for. I'm so very sorry you all are going through this incredibly difficult time with such an unforgiving disease. Love and fierce prayers from Virginia. xox

mcompton said...

Praying for you and your Dad, Hospice should be able to give you some sort of timeline.
Just know that as you blog you are helping a lot of people going through what you are.

Courtney@SDB said...

Not much I feel I can say, but I'm thinking of you and prayers for getting you and your family through everything. Hugs :)

Anne Umphrey said...

Hospice is a hard word to hear, but a kind thing to have happen for your mother and for you all. Sending love.

Megan said...

Hospice is one of the most amazing organizations on the planet. Know that there goal is to keep her comfortable on the final decent and that they provide so many excellent services for you too. Nothing can prepare you for what is going to happen but there is a peace is knowing that she will no longer be suffering. Praying for you and if you need anything let me know

Maggie said...

Hospice was extremely helpful with my father's AD and heart failure. In fact, the care was so good that he was taken off hospice in June of this year because he no longer met the criteria. He was put back on for his last days in August, and hospice is providing free counseling to my sister (she lives in that area)for a year. Hospice is indeed a hard word to hear, but for those patients and families who need it, it's a huge help. Blessing to you on this sad but holy journey.