Friday, October 10, 2014

Why Can't my 35 week old fetus send me an Outlook Meeting Request for Her Damn Delivery Date

(My Mood)
I know I know I know, only C-Section chicks get to know when their baby is coming. It's a joy to have that sudden rush of your water breaking. Blah blah blah.
Last time my water didn't break, it slightly leaked and while it was this excited "I think this is it honey!" moment I just want to know WHEN. Ford was 3 weeks early so that puts us 2 weeks out if she is going to do the same thing. Now we get to craft emails to our friends titled "In case my water breaks early Fuchs Kid Watch plan". We are leaning heavily on our friends and I want to say thank you in advance.

And why can't I get another ultrasound? Just do it Doc! Take a peek! Puhlease!!!!!! If Dr's offices had voluntary Ultrasounds for $50 a pop they would be making BANK. And yes, I googled it and Charlotte has several third party ultrasound offices I can go to. Don't think I haven't ruled that out yet. Because if one more person tells me I look like I'm carrying a boy I'm going to shove all these cute pink clothes down their throat. I'd be thrilled with a boy...but this OCD crazy mom is fully equipped for pink.
And since I sound like an angry over hormonal psychopath...let's spend the rest of this post venting today......

If you ask someone to be home at 8:30pm WITH Ice Cream because you have to work at 9pm and they come home at 8:45 WITHOUT Ice Cream.....DON'T COME HOME.

The asshole who dented my car in a parking lot.

Trying to pee in a cup when you can't see the cup. Seriously. Put some damn gloves in the bathroom.

Maternity jeans. I loved them last time but I wasn't wearing them in the bitter end. I'm at the bitter end and ready for jeans weather and wouldn't you know it that damn belly panel FUCKING RIPPED. I don't want to spend another dollar on maternity clothes but shit guess I need jeans. I only have myself and McDonald's to blame but damn. Guess its yoga pants for 5 weeks.

And speaking of Fashion...WHAT THE FUCK J.CREW! This looks like something Kate Bosworth would wear to dig up a body.

or drink kale coffee with some hipsters. 

Young bloggers in their twenties who are newly married and smoking hot. You girls are wonderful and have done nothing wrong to me but I have to stop following you on Instagram. I don't remember the last time I wore bathing suits like those and even I'd be guilty of slapping your ass if I saw you in person. Sheesh.

Blake Lively Pregnant. 

There, I already feel better. I think I'm just moody (allowed to be) and anxious. And yes...I feel very fortunate to be pregnant and #blessed that I have so much food available to me and yadda yadda yadda. I'm just venting. Or maybe I'm nervous because I know what's coming. 

From this tumblr and huge thanks to Katie for posting.

 Let's end on a happier note with my girl Emma using a Shake Weight. 

And This from Jennifer Garner because she is awesome.
Raging Bitch 
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